Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
