Do vagina's smell?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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