Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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