Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
