Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
