is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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