DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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