Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
