we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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