Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
