make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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