operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
