Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
