It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
