THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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