Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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