Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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