dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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