i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
