I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
