My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize