Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want to make a zoo with you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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