Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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