It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
