I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
where does the pee come out of this thing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
