Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
