I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
