using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
