She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
