that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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