This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
