Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Text me some of your sweat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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