Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ketchup is God's man juice
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
