apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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