Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
