If that was your dad, he is hot
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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