I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
