remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
