when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
