you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
