hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize