Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
