Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
