Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
