Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
