Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She bit a glass in half.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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