dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
