a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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