I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
