spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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