don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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