you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
