The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
