Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
