I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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