they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
