Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
