A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
