just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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