I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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