She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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